Mary Sue Mockery Episode One: Clopin Trouillefou
by TrixTheFlowery
Summary: Part one of a series of fics parodying various ships that are dominated by Mary Sue. In this edition: Clopin meet Mae Sury,a fangirl who gets two very different tastes of what it's like to be a Mary Sue. READ AND REVIEW PLEASE unless you like Mary Sue...
1. The Beginning

**I am tired of the obscene amount of Mary Sue fan fiction, and therefore have been forced to parody a number of (in)famous ships. So welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to part one of hopefully many; the mockery of the Clopin fangirls!**

**I purposely wrote the first two chapters badly… this is supposed to look like a Mary Sue at first…**

Mae Sury brushed her soft, shiny, long red hair while at the same time making sure her outfit was acceptable for the first day of grade ten.

"Well," she said. "Purple and gold are not in style this season, but I'm sure Clopin would approve, no?" She giggled to herself before smiling sappily at the life sized poster of Clopin she had her Dad print off for her at work. "Have a good day, darling. I shall return to the Court of Miracles!" And with that she ran out the door and down the stairs.

"Bye Mom!" She called on the way out, grabbing a piece of toast as she passed through the kitchen.

"Have a good day, Mae!"

Mae smiled and closed the front door before walking to the bus stop.

She was so excited to start grade ten; only three years left of school! Of course, there were the twelfth graders to worry about… she had heard horror stories of first-day initiations…

"It won't happen to me." She said confidently, sitting at the bus stop and pulling out a purple binder with the name 'Mrs. Trouillefou' scrawled across the front in gold gel-ink.  
"At least I'm almost done my fic." She said proudly, leafing through the binder to the last page: She had worked all summer on it. It was a story about a character based on herself who makes the mysterious Clopin fall for her.

"Oh no!" She cried when a strong gust of wind tore out some of the pages from her binder. She stood up and ran after the pages, now blowing across the road.

She ran, right into the path of the bus.


	2. The Sue

**Here my chums, is chapter two: It is in fact, the solid mockery of a Mary Sue. Enjoy (:**

**P.S. I can assure you: This was agonizing for me to write… ugh.**

**Also, snogging is an English term for kissing. Just so you know.**

Mae groaned and sat up.

"Ugh… where am I?"

"You must have taken quite a fall, Cherie. Where do you come from? I haven't seen you here before."

Mae rubbed her eyes and pushed purple covers identical to her own off her lap. Her mind still felt fuzzy as she looked up to meet the cunning, dark eyes of Clopin Trouillefou.

"Are you okay?" He asked, frowning.

"Y-you're Clopin!" She stammered.

"Ah! You have heard of me! What is your name and we shall see if we are old aquaintances!"

"M-Mae Sury." She said, trying to stay composed. "I'm… I'm not from… around here…"

"I could tell." Clopin said matter of factly. "You dress strangely and carry strange things with you."

"Strange things?" Mae frowned. "You went through my stuff?"

"But of course! We cannot allow just any silly person into the Court of Miracles, no matter how pretty they are!" Clopin said jovially, bouncing on the balls of his feet where he stood in the purple tent. "On the topic; what, pray tell, is an ip-od?"

Mae giggles and got out of bed and went over to her bag that was leaning against an old chair. "It's an iPod." She said, handing the thing to Clopin.

"But what do you do with it?" He frowned quizzically and Mae fell a little more in love as he inspected the ear buds. "Do these go here?" He said in all seriousness before sticking them up his nose.

Mae burst out laughing, and Clopin smiled.

"No." She managed at last.

"They don't?"

"No, silly boy." She said. "They go in your ears."

"Ah! Now I understand!" He put the headphones in his ears and Mae pushed the play button and watched as confusion and delight came over his narrow face, and his eyes widened like those of a child. "But… mademoiselle… this is _me_ singing."

"It is indeed." Mae smiled.

"But… how?" Clopin frowned, examining the iPod. "Is this some kind of… magic, dare I say?"

"I guess it's kind of magical…" Mae shrugged.

It fell quite in the tent and the next thing she knew, she was snogging Clopin.

"I knew, as soon as I saw you, it was true love." Clopin whispered.

"Yeah, me too." She said before he kissed her again.

"All my life I have waited for someone like you… will you marry me and be my Gypsy Queen?"

"Oh yes!" Mae said, hardly believing that this could be real.

He drew her close in her arms and stroked her perfect hair.

"And also, Mae… you are part goddess and the key to part of an important prophecy tied into the future of the gypsies. I am very lucky to have you love me, since every other man you meet also inexplicably falls in love with you. I love how you have proven yourself smarter, wiser, braver and more beautiful than any of us… I am madly in love with you and want to have six children."

**THE END**

**That's disgusting, no? And terribly unrealistic; as if getting hit by a bus made you hurtle back to fifteenth century France anyways… I'm sure there would be Clopin fan-girls of all sorts throwing themselves at buses… good God.**

**The next chapter will deal with what would REALLY happen if Clopin was met with an annoying creator of Sue. **


	3. The Reality Check

**Here it is: A little bit of Mary Sue torment.**

**Keep an eye out for the cameo by yours truly. Hey, I'm breaking all the rules aren't I? Why can't I mess with the wittle fan-girly while I'm at it?**

**This leaves off when she gets hit by the bus.**

Mae groaned and her eyes fluttered open.

"Ugh… where am I?"

"You are in the Court of Miracles; a dozy stranger who naively walked into our midst this morning."

She frowned and tried to rub her tired eyes, but found she could not move here hands; they were bound behind the chair she was sitting in.

She frantically looked around the dark tent lit by candles, and with a jolt of relief she saw Clopin Trouillefou doing a handstand but glaring at her. She then realized it was he who had spoken.

"I'm a friend!" She said desperately.

Clopin said nothing; he just let his feet fall forwards to the ground, allowing him to fold up to a standing position. He took Mae's purple binder off the table to his right and threw it down at her feet.

"You went through my stuff?" She said, mortified.

Clopin ignored her. "Mrs. Trouillefou?" He said quietly; dangerously. Quite uncharacteristic for the normally cheerful man. "What is your _real_ name?" He growled silkily, leaning forward so that eerie shadows cast his face into sharp relief.

"Mae Sury!" She said quickly. "But… I mean you no harm here. I--"

"I have heard of you, so called 'fan-girls'." Clopin drawled, now balancing Mae's binder on his head. "And while the attention is admittedly ego-boosting, I don't like you much."

Mae shivered; the pleasant quality his voice took on was much more unsettling than his earlier sinister quality.

"If I had a penny for every puffed up preteen popinjay who wrote a story about me or wore purple every day… I wouldn't be a gypsy." He said. "It gets irritating, you know… why must you try so hard?" He threw his hands in the air. "Being perfect and fanatical about someone is no way to make them like you!"

"I say we hang her." Said a snide voice.

Mae looked in the direction of the voice and was met with the sight of a girl two or three years older than her who sat and the table, her bare feet resting on the wood as she tilted back. Her sharp green eyes were pronounced in the contrasting candle light and her crimson lips wore an arrogant smirk; she might have been pretty if she hadn't looked so mean.

"Ah, but to act so rashly, Bella?" Clopin said.

"Is just what we need." The gypsy named Bella said, her arms crossed defiantly over an ornate bodice. "She is no different than any other… annoyance."

"Allow me to introduce Belladonna." Clopin said to Mae. "She's in charge of the Fan-Girl Eradication Committee."

Bella ever so slightly bowed her head in arrogant acknowledgement.

"She and her friend, Fera have been a great deal of help of late."

"But… Clopin… I love you!"

Bella threw back her head and laughed.

"Hear that Clopin? She luuuuuurves you! Just like the other twenty two munchkins we've weeded out!" Bella's chair legs hit the carpeted floor with a dull thud. She stood up and went over to Mae. "Let me tell you something, little girl; you lack originality. Not to mention the maturity to keep your little girl infatuations to yourself… I read your story-book you know." She giggled absurdly. "Why not try for some cunning next time? Some originality? Try to make it look convincing at least! Don't give us any of this drivel about a perfect character who happens to look just like you! Give her some flaws! God knows you have them!" She pointed at Clopin. "You want him to fall in love with you? He likes girls with a sense of humour; don't act just like him! Set yourself apart!"

"You… you and him are together, aren't you?" Mae said, tears welling in her eyes.

Bella grimaced. "Don't be stupid. As I am in fact the author of this story, that would be hypocritical of me. I am currently caught in between another funny man and a gentleman from Portugal."

"The author?"

"That's right. I decided I was sick of stories like yours and therefore decided to poke. a. little. fun." She said, jabbing Mae in the shoulder with each word.

"You mean this is just happening in my head?"

Bella giggled. "Of course it's happening in your head, but why should that mean it isn't real?" She quoted. "I've written you into my story. You're witnessing it now… ha, as a matter of fact, I'm actually sitting in my kitchen writing this and sipping filtered water. I'll send you back to being smushed by a bus, just promise me you'll be nice to Clopin from now on, okay?"

She smiled at Clopin who made a goofy face.

Mae nodded. "I promise I'll be good. I'm sorry Clopin. I'll never be fan-girly again."

"Hurray!" Clopin crowed, and they all lived happily ever after.

**THE END (For real)**


End file.
